I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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