Porn is love you can see.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
