We're facebook friends in real life
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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