When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
