i was rollin on her like bob the builder
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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