Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
