drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize