that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
