I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
