there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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