Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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