We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
