Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
