Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
