i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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