Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
