Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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