Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
