Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
