I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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