He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
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Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
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it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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