I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
