Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
is wine microwaveable?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
