Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
