shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
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He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
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So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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