No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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