Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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