I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
