Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
