I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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