i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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