Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
