She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
