Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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