Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
