i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
