The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
