They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize