Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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