I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
