I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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