Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
people are starting to question the shark bite story
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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