I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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