I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
