I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
