at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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