He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
