I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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