I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize