We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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