i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
