dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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