why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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