i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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