Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
nutella sex= disaster
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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