guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
