Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
