I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He shit in the fireplace
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