So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize