I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize