We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Let's paint friendship bongs
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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