Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
