My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
sarcasm needs its own font
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Semen is not good for contacts.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
