so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Jerry, you need to find god
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
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I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
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we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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