just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
