i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
