didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
