get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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