everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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