it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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