i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize